Life is....

I moved down here to Montevallo about two weeks ago and life has been going 90 to nothing since I've been here. I've met a ton of students and God has really blessed me with good conversations and lots of opportunities to share my faith. God has also opened some doors for ministry in places I'd never expect. Two students who are involved in our ministry are partnering with me to start a bible study in Chi Omega (a sorority), and a book discussion about Blue Like Jazz in the Art Department. I'm so excited to see what God is going to do. I've got to admit that it's a little lonely here though, it's funny how eventhough I'm surrounded by students and my staff partners everyday all day I can feel alone. I think it's because I don't know anyone really well yet and I'm just used to having these deep friendships with my friends from home. It'll be okay it's only the second week, I'll connect with some people and get more fully adjusted. I gotta keep in mind that every friendship starts at the beginning and I just moved to a place where I don't know a bunch of people. There's just not a distinct seperation between my work and my personal life. It's hard for me to know what work is. I find myself living in guilt alot of the time because I feel like I'm not doing enough but I'm not exactly sure what more to do, and it feels like I'm on the go all day and all night. I have to miss Mountain Day this year because we're going on a whitewater rafting trip this weekend and I wish I could go see my friends but God is sovereign. I'm a little confused about some stuff right now. When Jesus commands us to deny ourselves, does that mean we shouldn't pursue the things that we are passionate about in life but instead just seek to meet others needs and lead people to Christ? How can I figure out how to give all I have and be poured out like a drink offering but still keep from losing myself completely? Or is losing yourself completely the point? I'm tempted to say that I don't even know who I am tonight but I do know that I am a daughter of God and that He accepts me completely because of Christ but what does that mean? Does that mean that I ought to spend every minute that I'm not doing ministry reading my bible, praying and meditating on scripture? Right now I just don't feel like I have much of a life or much freedom and I don't know whether it's just my flesh feeding me lies or whether this is something I need to do something about. Quiet my soul Lord and teach me to make them most of my time.