"In hope he believed against hope, that he should become the father of many nations, as he had been told, "So shall your offspring be." He did not weaken in faith when he considered his own body, which was as good as dead (since he was about a hundred years old), or when he considered the barrenness of Sarah's womb. No distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what He had promised. That is why his faith was counted to him as righteousness."

Things feel crazy and uncertain to me right now but the essence of faith is believing in the promise of God despite the impossibility of the circumstance. God is the God of the impossible. He longs to make a roadway in the wilderness and streams in the desert for those who trust Him.

egypt

Alright, so I decided that I'm going to Egypt in May. I'm very well aware that my entire last post was mostly about how I absolutely was not going but I'm going. It's kinda crazy, one of my friends is leading the trip and I told him no five times but he wouldn't take no for an answer. We had three massive conversations about faith and unbelief and I ended up deciding to go. I'm excited but of course I'm scared too.

This whole crazy situation has taught me so much:

1. I don't believe God will provide for me - the biggest reason I had ruled Egypt out was because it requires me to have to raise support. I hate raising support so much because I don't trust God.

2. I don't know how to just be friends with guys- another big reason I didn't want to go is because there are a few attractive guys going and I hate getting caught up in one-sided love so...its just easier to just hang with girls. My mindset has been - you're my boyfriend or you're nothing, and as a result I've fallen into putting the "husband hat" (as a good friend of mine would say) on every attractive guy I meet. I come looking to see what I can get instead of coming to see what I can give. When intead I need to be committed to loving my brothers in Christ without looking for some kind of payback.

This is simple stuff but it has been pretty revolutionary for me in the past few weeks. And its been cool because I've had to confess alot of sin lately and I've felt so much love from the body of Christ. Thank God for brothers and sisters who are not afraid to push me.

I'm excited about going to Egypt because:
1. pyramids
2. I'm not in charge of the trip or responsible for anything or anyone
3. meeting Egyptians and finding out what their culture is like