Poem: "Why I Have A Crush On You, UPS Man" by Alice N. Persons, from Don't Be A Stranger.

Why I Have A Crush On You, UPS Man

you bring me all the things I order
are never in a bad mood
always have a jaunty wave as you drive away
look good in your brown shorts
we have an ideal uncomplicated relationship
you're like a cute boyfriend with great legs
who always brings the perfect present
(why, it's just what I've always wanted!)
and then is considerate enough to go away
oh, UPS Man, let's hop in your clean brown truck and elope !
ditch your job, I'll ditch mine
let's hit the road for Brownsville
and tempt each other
with all the luscious brown foods —
roast beef, dark chocolate,
brownies, Guinness, homemade pumpernickel, molasses cookies
I 'll make you my mama's bourbon pecan pie
we'll give all the packages to kind looking strangers
live in a cozy wood cabin
with a brown dog or two
and a black and brown tabby
I'm serious, UPS Man. Let's do it.
Where do I sign?

Tonight Tonight

I just got back from our 1st official CO function of the year. We had a party at Matt and Rob's. It was amazing. I got to see the Alpha Gamma Delta ladies- Jessica (who over the summer has decided to go by Jessica-Lauren), Amy (who refuses to eat fruits and vegetables), Amber (who doesn't know what to think about God), and Alica and Laura (who I love). It was so good for my soul. We laughed ridiculously loud, introduced ourselves to every freshman at the party, and did nerdy dances that people usually do in the privacy of their own bedrooms.

I've been wrestling with alot of uncertainty lately and tonight I just did not feel the pressure to do anything but have fun and love people. I think I had more fun tonight than I've had in teo years. Freedom. I met this hilarious freshman boy (who is 18 by the way) who flirted with me and told me that I was pretty until he asked me what year I was and I told him I was 25 years old and that I work with Campus Outreach. You should have seen his face. Flirting with near-minors should be illegal (it probably is in most states but this is Alabama). I really gotta be careful.

SALUTATION
O generation of the thoroughly smug
and thoroughly uncomfortable,
I have seen fishermen picnicking in the sun,
I have seen them with untidy families,
I have seen their smiles full of teeth
and heard ungainly laughter.
And I am happier than you are,
And they were happier than I am;
And the fish swim in the lake
and do not even own clothing.
Ezra Pound

I'm back in Montevallo for good. My dad and mom came and helped us move into our fun new apartment on Friday and despite all the boxes and piles of things I need to throw away its already beginning to feel like home, which is really comforting.

Lately I've had more questions about life than answers. Why am I doing this? What's next? How can I figure out what the Lord wants me to do? But last night I went to see the girl's soccer team play an exhibition game at Montevallo and it was the first time I've been able to see Hooper, Joey, Luda, Stacey, Corey, and Cath since I've been back. It was so good. I love them! I want them to know Jesus but I don't know what to do but beg Jesus to work in their hearts.

I get overwhelmed really easily and with all the girls moving in this week, when I still need to finish up semester plans, raise support, and organize the apartment- I feel a little anxious. I don't know if I have anything to give, and people's expectations scare me. When you're a staff girl people, especially students, tend to look at you like some kind of spiritual guru. "If I can just meet with Renee, she can help me with this." When the truth is that I'm probably more confused than they are and the same storehouse of wisdom that lives in me, lives in them because that storehouse is Christ. I cannot be all things to all women, when I try my life an my mind fall apart but I can point them to the One who can be that for them.

I'm seeing just how little Iam impacted by Jesus, and how much of my ministry flows from my own strength, wisdom, and efforts instead of the power of the Holy Spirit. Things have to change and He's going to have to do the changing.

There's a communion wafer moon
Dissolving on the blue tongue of the sky

Sometimes the whole world is nothing
So much
As an altar inviting us
To kneel

- Linford Detweiler