Square One

This is the first time in a while that I've actually felt like writing. Oh gosh, life has been really interesting this week. As always I simply have no idea what I'm doing. I've fumbled my way through the gospel and my testimony a few times this week but it hasn't really rung true. Maybe I shouldn't be a professional Christian. The only thing I can think to do is love people, I don't have the mind of a strategist. As I'm writing this I'm realizing that I've double booked myself tommorrow at 2pm and both girls would be dissapointed if I canceled. AAAH! There is just so much need and I am completely insufficient to fill all of it. I don't know how to prioritize. I think its easy in this job to look at people and sort of think how they are connected with other people and whether or not they can get you "in" with certain groups instead of seeing people for who they are and trusting God to move the way He wants to move, I am definitely guilty of doing this. I mean I can barely talk to a male student for over 5 minutes without feeling guilty. Boys have souls too, they need to hear the gospel and they need encouragementt just the same as anyone else. Who am I working for? Am I working to see quick and measurable results so I can feel good about myself or am I working for a Sovereign God who brings people into my life and saves them in such a way that I can take none of the credit. Am I building God's kingdom or Renee's? Am I more concerned about what I'll look like in front of my colleagues than I am about the souls of girls on campus? My heart is not broken. If I was God I probably wouldn't choose fishermen as my disciples, I'd have been really smart and gone for the Pharisees or Saducees. Better yet I would've gone to the Roman officials, people with some serious social muscle. I just feel like I need to begin ministering out of a place of conviction. Do I think having a target group is Biblical? What is an influential person? I'm back to the drawing board, I ought to just make a home here.

Gearing Up

Deep breath...Alright my work schedule is going to get a little intense starting next week. Why is it that I feel so much pressure? Well, I'm afraid to make mistakes and fail (I don't trust God to get the work He wants done through me). It's a little intimidating, I've got no one to tell me exactly what needs to be done everyday. I don't have the strength to be as bold as I need to be. I'm not that good at sharing my faith and even worse at actually living it out. I don't want to just exist, I want to make an impact.
I think the problem is that my eyes are fixed on me and all my inadequacies instead of on the sufficiency of Christ.I've posted these verses before but they're so good I'm posting them again.

May grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to make your calling and election sure, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall.
(2Pe 1:2-10)

Confessions of a Cornbread Junkie

I'm back from 9 days of Return Training + Staff Fellowship. Steph dropped me off in Montevallo around 3 or 4pm today, so I've been washing clothes, and hanging out on the couch eating cornbread and drinking milk. I really may be addicted to cornbread. Short-term additction is becoming an odd pattern in my life. For some reason I just get fixated on something and I just can't get enough. Right now its that cheap Jiffy goodness. I mean you can't beat it. If you've got 50 cents, an egg and 1/3 cup of milk you too can enjoy sweet satisfying taste of cornbread muffins. Unfortunately, the ones I made tonight were a little dry because I left them in the oven 3 minutes too long, but its alright. Return training and staff fellowship went really well. I've still got alot of work to do before the semester starts but at least now I've got some direction and vision. I got a new digital camera last month so I'm going to show you a few of my favorite pics from the summer.
These are some of the coolest girls that live in Montevallo, Alabama.
Nikki and Steph in the grocery store as we attempted to plan and cook dinner for 10.
I love Ginny and Amy Barrett! I took this pic on a Sunday afternoon while I was having fun and exploring the Homewood buisness district. I love the color scheme in O'Carrs, I can't wait to eat there if I'm ever in the area when they're open.