Back in the Saddle

It's my sixth summer. The sixth summer I've used this season of the year to either come down to Summer Beach Project, or go overseas with Campus Outreach. My perspective is so different than it has ever been. I just don't feel like I have anything to prove to anyone this time around. I really just want to love people and work for Jesus alone this summer. But at the same time I feel absolutely exhausted. I'm learning so much... For a long time I've just been going back and forth about staying on staff with Campus Outreach. I don't enjoy raising support, I don't enjoy feeling inadequate, but I have learned more about the Lord and more about myself and my own insecurities than I would've anywhere else. I love the girls God has brought into my life and I love how Jesus is stretching me here and forcing me to trust Him. Things are not perfect! But nothing is and I want to be a part of the solution. I figure I can criticize and give up or I can commit myself to doing all I can to make it better. I keep thinking about how this is really training me to persevere in my marriage (if that's what the Lord has for me). When you make a commitment and say for better or for worse you don't give up. When things get hard you just keep saying - I'm not giving up on you, no matter how much you hurt me. I am committed to loving you and keeping my heart soft toward you. So I've decided to stick it out and honor my contract. I'll be in Montevallo till August 2009 baby! But I think this year I'm going to take an art class at UM, and I also signed up for this really interesting Holistic Ministry class at Red Mountain- getting out and about you know.