24

It's been my birthday for about an hour and 25 minutes. Maybe it's a little vain or just straight up silly, but I'm excited. This is like New Year's Day for my life. It's so funny, I growing up my family never made a big deal about birthdays. Every year we got pizza, a cake, a card, and a 20 dollar bill, and I like it that way. I got home tonight and I saw that it was after midnight so I opened the card my parents sent me, and enclosed with their love and signatures was a crisp 20. Whoo hoo!

The reality of my adult life is so different from anything I imagined as a child. I remember when I was growing up I'd hear my mom and dad talking about the hardships of life and in my mind I was always thinking, "It won't be that way for me". I thought life was going to be this like unbelievably passionate explosion of feeling, and that I'd never be sad or afraid. I was wrong.

A few days ago I got into a tift with my best friend. I think it's the first passionate disagreement we've ever gotten into, and we've known eachother for a long time (for some reason I'm really diggin' on the word passionate tonight). The thing that I love about her is that she always makes me think, even now when I don't entirely agree with her point of view. I'm just excited that we were both able to stand our ground and be completely honest. I mean there was no real resolution but I think we both know where the other person stands and that we're going to love each other no matter what. I hope things aren't weird for long, she's the most dedicated phone caller in my life right now.

I started this rigorous diet last Thursday and since I've been on it I've been thinking about whether or not I really want to look like pre-baby Britney Spears. Not that, that really is a possibility or anything but I mean it's weird I sort of want to look like everyone else in a way. Why can't I be satisfied with the size that I am? Hmm, maybe that's just my hungry tummy talking- who knows?

Alright I'm shivering and tired, but it's my new year!