Free Morning

It's Wednesday! On Wednesday mornings I'm free. There's nothing on the schedule so until 10am I can do whatever the heck I wanna do. This morning I got up and went to breakfast with Ashton. We ate omletes and hashbrowns (diet what?!) and talked about life and Jesus. I really enjoyed myself. I'm seeing more and more in my life that I am highly resistant to discipline and hardship. I guess I just don't enjoy doing things that aren't that fun. I just want to be completely free. I was driving home from campus yesterday thinking how much I'd love to have an arranged marriage to the man of my dreams, live on and island where the weather is perfect and people really love eachother, and be able to eat anything I want and have the perfect body. Unfortunately none of that stuff really exists but my soul really does long for that kind of love and perfection, amd since I can only get that kind of thing from Jesus part of me is like, "Jesus take me now, cause this life ain't easy." Yesterday I was talking to Joey and Stacee, who are both foreign soccer players. They were talking about how American culture is so different from the how things are in Europe. When you get your social security number at about 14 years old you are expected to work and pay for your stuff. They think that alot of American college students are immature because they have everything handed to them all their lives. Childhood extends itself from infancy to the time you graduate college at 22 years old in alot of cases. It was really interesting and I think extremely true in my case. I don't think I was spoiled rotten or anything but I was spoiled. I'm a daddy's girl and my dad made sure that I had everything that I needed and wanted in most cases. Growing up is hard to do. Yesterday I took my car to get an oil change for the first time ( my dad usually changes my oil himself) I felt like such a big girl. I really need to decide what kind of life I want to live, I want to be free and do as I please but if I really do exactly what I want it's bound to be self-destructive. Lord change my desires help me to love to do what I ought to do.