I didn't want to go to church this morning...and I don't think I would've if I hadn't felt obligated. Its become this extension of my job, where I think people just expect me to be there and have college students with me. I guess I can thank God for obligations. The biggest reason I didn't want to show up this morning was because I knew there wouldn't be many college students there since it's Thanksgiving weekend, and I don't like feeling alone. I knew Matt and Rob would be sitting with their respective love interests and I just wanted to be invisible. I almost asked my roomate if I could go to church with her this morning, I almost stopped and spent the morning reading my bible in Starbucks. After pulling in the parking lot and turning my car off I said, " I don't want to be here Lord" out loud then got out and went into Sunday school.
It was good, eventhough alot of times I resent having to go to the college Sunday school class and there are times that I don't listen out of pure rebellion, this morning Dave talked about covetousness. Coveting is the insatiable desire for what someone else has and it is rooted in a heart that doesn't believe that God has provided for them exactly what they need for that moment in time. I was convicted and comforted.
I was planning to sit in the back of the sanctuary so no one would notice me but as I began to walk toward the sanctuary I ran into Ms. Nell Whitehead. She's one of the older women in our church. We started talking and I ended up sitting with her. She introduced me to alot of the older people in the congregation. It was different and nice. I've been so blind, I don't have to be alone. There are plenty of people to love I just need the Lord to open my eyes and my heart. Lord give we a heart of joy and gratitude- anything I enjoy today that is better than the fires of hell is an act of your grace and mercy.
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