Sunday, December 24, 2006
The Family Room of Humanity
It's Christmas Eve and I'm at my parent's house in Marietta, GA. So far the break has been a whirlwind of shopping, wrapping paper, cooking, family and friends and longing. Longing for perfection I think. I just wish it was easier to love people. Why is it so easy to love and accept your friends with all their faults and imperfections and so hard to love your family. It's just hard to stay engaged, committed to not just showing up to family functions but committed to actively loving, serving and being involved in people's lives. It's easier to watch tv, write on my blog, check my facebook, or listen to music than it is to have meaningful conversation. Maybe the reason its so hard is: #1 I'm selfish #2 I the people who are closest to you and know you the best have the greatest power to hurt you, even with a look, or a few words #3 I like to be the one to decide who and who is not going to be close to me and with family you don't decide. But my family needs love and encouragement just as much as any student that I minister to, and because I do know all their junk and because their junk has affected me, my love for them is probably that much more powerful. Alright... big gulps, Lord help me to stay engaged and thank you for not being a distant God but for being a God who came down into the family room of humanity and loved on dirty people who really wanted to shut you out. Thank you for breaking through the walls and barriers in my heart with your love. Help me to be like You Jesus help me to love my family where they are- in the family room, here I go....
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5 comments:
This describes my Christmas break, too Renee. Except for I didn't make much effort to love. A few hurtful words, and I shut down ... spend my time in my bed sleeping or getting to know the characters in a novel rather than loving my family despite it's imperfections. Why IS it so hard to love our families well?
I share this struggle with you. I see my brother maybe three times a year, and I can't seem to have more than a 3 minute conversation with him. I shy away from asking myself why. Thank you for sharing your heart. And, as always, I love the way you write!!
This is a post worth commenting on.
I think your right when you said that it is harder to love people who know you the best because what they say can hurt you the most. However, I used to think that friends were safer than family and they are probably to an extent, but from what I've experienced that's probably an illusion due to the amount of time and commitment involved. Perhaps love is the greatest miracle of all miracles. I think I may post something along these lines.
I know it's a little late; but when I was single I think that a lot of my frustration with my family was for want of independence. When you go home for [x] holiday, then who you are is directly associated with who your family is. I can't ever escape my history, but when I go my mother's home [or to Laura's parent's home for that matter] we are a different family with something of a plan and a direction. Not that it's bad to be single; it's just different when you are a different and new family.
Does that make any sense?
Also, try to learn to enjoy it. My dad died in May of 05 [close to 5 months after Laura and I married]and I always wish that I had one more phone call with him...one more conversation. All of life is like a vapor...
You're right Gene, I think alot of my frustration comes out because I am so directly associated with my family. Thanks for the perspective I need to love them to the fullest while I have them.
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