I'm back in Montevallo for good. My dad and mom came and helped us move into our fun new apartment on Friday and despite all the boxes and piles of things I need to throw away its already beginning to feel like home, which is really comforting.

Lately I've had more questions about life than answers. Why am I doing this? What's next? How can I figure out what the Lord wants me to do? But last night I went to see the girl's soccer team play an exhibition game at Montevallo and it was the first time I've been able to see Hooper, Joey, Luda, Stacey, Corey, and Cath since I've been back. It was so good. I love them! I want them to know Jesus but I don't know what to do but beg Jesus to work in their hearts.

I get overwhelmed really easily and with all the girls moving in this week, when I still need to finish up semester plans, raise support, and organize the apartment- I feel a little anxious. I don't know if I have anything to give, and people's expectations scare me. When you're a staff girl people, especially students, tend to look at you like some kind of spiritual guru. "If I can just meet with Renee, she can help me with this." When the truth is that I'm probably more confused than they are and the same storehouse of wisdom that lives in me, lives in them because that storehouse is Christ. I cannot be all things to all women, when I try my life an my mind fall apart but I can point them to the One who can be that for them.

I'm seeing just how little Iam impacted by Jesus, and how much of my ministry flows from my own strength, wisdom, and efforts instead of the power of the Holy Spirit. Things have to change and He's going to have to do the changing.