Its been a crazy summer. It climaxed for me last Thursday night as I found myself alone and crying uncontrollably (the silent kind, thankfully) in Panera Bread. You know you're a homeless gypsy when the only place you feel comfortable enough to cry in is the couch of a public eatery. What can I say- the world is my living room. Anyways, we've been studying the book of Mark the whole summer and its been really good for me. I 've been looking at the life of Christ and feeling really bad about myself. Jesus pushes through the pain and hangs out with people even when He's tired, He manages to go to bed late and get up at the butt-crack of dawn to spend time with God, He always knows what to say and how to say it. I've been trying to follow His example for so long but a couple of days ago as I was reading Mark I felt like I heard God say, (not audibly of course) " Renee, you're not Jesus, you NEED Jesus." Wow! I know that's pretty elementary but I've been living like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. If I don't save the world, its not going to get done. I sit down to pray and I almost don't want to because there are so many people that I know who need prayer. I feel guilty because I can't seem to be best friends with every girl on Beach Project. I keep racking my brain trying to fix people, and Jesus keeps saying, "Renee- just love me, just follow me and I'll do what needs to get done through you." I'm living like I have to make myself perfect and I can't do it anymore. Hallelujah!