Being where I am

Its been a while. I've been really busy lately and I haven't had alot to say. We had a staff training meeting in Carrolton, GA yesterday and today, so I decided to stay with my parents this weekend. I mean I can't come to Georgia and not see them. The meeting was really challenging. We talked about vision and evangelism and living radically for Christ. It was really good for me to hear but I couldn't help leaving and feeling a little overwhelmed and inadequate. Inadequacy has become the story of my life, being bold in sharing my faith and bringing people to a point of decision scares me and , I feel like I don't love God enough or know Him enough to be leading girls, but He is faithful and this is where He has me.
In spite of all my doubts and fears God has been so sweet and consistent in showing me His love and faithfulness in a million little ways. Today for instance on the way to my parent's house I was thinking about how I needed to get my oil changed and how hungry I was. So I prayed, "Lord let there be an oil change place within walking distance from the Chick-fil-A off this exit." I don't know if that was selfish or not but there was a Jiffy Oil Lube 20ft from the Chick-fil-A. I dropped my car off and inside I'm greeted by Michelle Watkins (formerly DeCampli- she was the staff girl at Berry when I was a student), her husband Chad, and Ying (CO Thailand staff). It was great! Not to get all health and wealth on you but God really cares about little things like that.
Here's another example, Mandii Rowland, an incredible girl I've met with since I came on staff at UM, is getting married in May (crazy huh! ). She didn't have much money to buy a wedding dress - about $100, so she just started praying that God would provide. A friend of her fiance's gave him $200 to go toward the dress, so she took the $300 and went shopping with her soon to be mother-in-law. She fell in love with a gorgeous dress at one of the dress stores but it was $660. There was a website on the tag so she wrote it down to see if she could get it online but when she looked it was listed for $1,000. At this point her mother-in- law talked to her soon to be father-in-law and said, " Mandii needs this dress!" To which he replied, " We need to trust God." So she started calling different stores around town to see if she could at least find one that was similar, the last store she called had the exact dress that she loved for $250. It was so miraculous because it's a designer Fall 2006 wedding dress.
One more... My struggle with singleness comes and goes but around Christmastime I started "talking" to a couple different guys. It was all very awkward of course and nothing panned out but for the first time in a really long time (years even) I am crush-free. Everytime I even start thinking about a guy, within one or two days God lets me find out that he's dating or interested in someone else. Its good, crazy but good. In the midst of so many people getting married around me (three of the ladies I meet with got engaged in the past two months), or finding a fun dating partner, God has given me alot of peace about being single (at least He has for the last two weeks). Its crazy how much easier it is to relate to single guys when you're not worried about whether they like you or not. So... I know that for today at least the Lord has called me to be alone and its good.